This Blog is Dedicated to our dear friend Karen.
When she left this life she left a hole in our hearts as well as several to be read books.
We, her friends, will read these books for her.
This blog will be a sort of book club for us to post our thoughts and feelings about the stories and feelings we have of Karen while we read.

Friday, January 27, 2017

#291 The Lake House by James Patterson


The single worst book I've read by Patterson. So many ways that this is bad:

- A twelve-year-old girl and a boy of about the same age have sex. But it's ok, because they're bird-people and they mature at a different rate. Also, the girl lays two eggs. No one even knew she was, I don't know, pregnant? Is that what we call it?

- Frannie - the narrator - dies. It's not really a spoiler, because she gets better. I don't even understand this one. She's dead, and suddenly nurses are removing wires and tubes and stuff. Are these the same nurses who were working for the bad guy? And now they're helping revive Frannie?

- The bad guy. Or should I say "guys", because he has 4 or 5 clones who are also maybe robots? And he killed his wife and replaced her with a... robot? who performs oral sex on demand.

- really, the whole biotech angle of the story. Apparently they're able to "shuck" a donor; that is, they remove all the internal organs all in one piece. Like, altogether, all at once. Because science?

- bird people. human/bird hybrids.

- really, the worst part? Not the plot, or the made up science, or the crappy, anticlimactic climax. The worst part is the general writing. Here's a sample:

This was not good! Kit and I rode in the Suburban on a dirt road as far as it would take us, and fast. The damn trail just dead-ended into the mountain face. We were in the middle of nowhere. Smack dab.
Staring at a cold, hard rock face.
Not good at all.
"You could say that this is the end of the road," Kit quipped from his place behind the steering wheel. "Damn it. Damn Max."

There are so many things wrong with the book. And I don't understand why. I know Patterson can write reasonably well; I've read other books by him (alone and in collaboration with other writers) that are entertaining and well-written. But this one is so very bad.


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